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Prestley | qwertyvsme's Blog


I remember when I heard that he'd killed himself. During that time, I had no understanding of such things; but I did have the peripheral knowledge that such a thing existed. My mind couldn't fathom what he must have been thinking or feeling in order to end himself. During that time, I remember feeling nothing about the act and only what I'd been taught in religious services. That if one kills themselves it's automatic relegation to spend eternity in everlasting torment. The only thing I could understand is that, he was here one day and then he wasn't.

Now, I understand where he must've been in order to commit suicide, it's a depth of hopelessness that also carries with it a perpetual pain that can't be pinpointed. Every fiber hurts. The physical parts hurt as a physical pain, the emotional parts hurt emotionally and the spiritual parts hurt as it's same. There's a point where all pain blends together creating a sensation of crawling skin and you'll do anything to make it stop...

I'm remembering Prestley today, smart, creative, popular and handsome but none of that mattered. He was exceedingly sad, and no one knew...

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